Writing Clear Sentences

The strongest type of sentence has a subject—a doer of something—followed by a verb, or predicate, that tells us what the subject does. Have a look at any book or well-edited magazine and you will find that about four-fifths of the sentences begin with a clear subject. You will avoid confusing the reader if at the outset of a sentence you name your subject and then proceed to say something about it.

In The Craft of Research (Chicago, 1995), the authors make an analogy between the subject of a sentence and a character in a story. Just as every story features characters involved in some kind of action, so every sentence has a subject and a verb that expresses an action or condition of some sort. But among the possible subjects of English sentences, not all can be compared to a character. Compare the following two sentences, for example (the whole subject of each sentence is underlined):

Which sentence makes its point most clearly and forcefully? Likely you chose 1b as the stronger sentence. Why? Look at the subject in each sentence. Which one of these subjects might correspond to a character in a story? The noun phrase The responsibility for the defence of Canada in sentence 1a is an abstract idea; it does not name a character. In sentence 1b, The Armed Forces is cast in the role of a character, collectively "responsible" for the defence of our country.

Note a similar difference between these two sentences:

In which sentence does the action lie? If the subject of a sentence is ideally considered as a character that performs an action, we must conclude that sentence 2b is stronger than sentence 2a. It names a character (new military technologies) in its opening words. The subject of sentence 2a is not a character but rather an action: The implementing of new military technologies.

Here then is the first principle of clear writing: Make the subjects of your sentences like characters in a story. Look at the first six or seven words in the main clause of your sentence. If they do not name a definable subject (such as The Armed Forces or New military technologies), chances are your sentence will not be as strong and clear as it could be.

The second principle of clarity in a sentence has to do with the way crucial action is expressed—as a verb or as a noun. Look again at the second pairs of sentences. This time the action words that are nouns are underlined; action words that are verbs are in red:

In the previous example, sentence 2b was clearer than 2a because it named a character as subject of the sentence: new military technologies. But it is also more direct than sentence 2a because the important actions in the sentence are expressed as verbs, not as nouns: are implemented in place of implementing; and to shift in place of a shift. Clear writing avoids nominalizations—verbs that are turned into nouns. A sentence is stronger when its verb identifies a clear action.

Here, then, is a further principle of good writing: Use verbs to express the crucial actions in your sentences.