The Problem with Passives

Wordiness can also result from unnecessary use of the passive voice. In a passive sentence there is either no doer of the action, or the doer has been placed at the end of the sentence and the receiver of the action at the beginning. Some form of the verb to be is added.

PASSIVE:

Fourteen tonnes of toys, clothing, and school supplies in aid of widows and orphans in Afghanistan were collected by Canadian soldiers.(21 words)

ACTIVE:

Canadian soldiers collected fourteen tonnes of toys, clothing, and school supplies for widows and orphans in Afghanistan. (17 words)

The passive voice is usually discouraged (but see further under Active versus Passive Voice). It can lead to stuffy, boring, and wordy prose. Recasting a sentence in the passive to the active often eliminates two to five words. Many passive sentences over the length of an essay can add considerable clutter to your prose.